Taking the Frame

To instigate a power frame collision, use a mildly shocking but not unfriendly act to cause it. Use defiance and light humor. This captures attention and elevates your status by creating something called “local star power.”

1. Perpetrate a small denial
2. Act out some type of defiance

Examples
You place a folder on the conference table that is labeled “Confidential—John Smith.” When the target reaches for the file, you grab it and say, “Uh- uh, not yet. You have to wait for this.”

If you deal in creative work and you brought visuals, let the target sneak a peek and then, when you see him curiously looking, turn it over, take it away, and deliver a soft reprimand that says, not until I say you’re ready.
This is a quick tease followed by a strong denial, and it is massively disruptive to the target’s croc brain. What you are doing is not offensive, and it’s not mean. It’s playful, and it tells the target subconsciously, “I’m the one in charge here, not you, my friend.”

The key to taking the frame is to perpetrate the denial and make it clear: Not yet. This is my meeting, we’re following my agenda, and everything that happens will be on my timeline.

Another way to control the frame is to respond to a comment with a small but forceful act of defiance. 

TARGET: “Thanks for coming over. I only have 15 minutes this afternoon.”
YOU: “That’s okay, I only have 12.” You smile. But you are serious, too.